Royal condoms - Lie Back and Think of England

Gentlemen (and ladies), I introduce to you... the ultimate protector of your crown jewels, the royal condom.

As the website says:

"Combining the strength of a Prince with the yielding sensitivity of a Princess-to-be, Crown Jewels condoms promise a royal union of pleasure. Truly a King amongst Condoms."

Think I'd probably still quite like a tea towel and a couple of plates...