A father’s no shield for his child Seamus Heaney

 I worry more now that my son is out
On his own, earning a handsome salary
Back east.  How big the country is, and how
Many ways to navigate it.  He’s free
To cross his streets without a father’s help —
A father’s caution, practice reading the signs.
And though I must admit he’s doing well,
Anything could happen, and he’s still mine
To fret over.  Finally I understand
My own father’s silence.  Not uncaring,
As I once thought, it’s the brave wordlessness
Of love and wonder, and no little fear:
Two fathers, now watching from their distance,
Two sons who risk the futures they will miss.

If you bite on everything they throw at you, they will grind you down. You have to ignore a certain amount of stuff. The thing I keep saying to them lately is: "I have to love you, and I have the right to ignore you." When my kids ask what I want for my birthday or Christmas or whatever, I use the same answer my father did: "Peace and quiet." That was never a satisfactory answer to me as a kid — I wanted an answer like "A pipe." But now I see the wisdom of it: All I want is you at your best — you making this an easier home to live in, you thinking of others.

Taken from an interview with Bill Murray in Esquire